I am the wife of a man who had a vasectomy. This is my vasectomy advise, from the vantage of a wife. I will share with you what I know, how it goes down and how to support your man as he gets the big snip. I am not a medical expert, medical advisor and have no authority on the matter other than my husband just went through the procedure and this is my two cents.
What To Expect When Your Man Gets A Vasectomy: Advice From A Wife
Ladies. I am talking to you. Yes you. The one who has a man who is going to have a vasectomy and you want to know what to expect.
Is a vasectomy permanent?
I KNOW that there are reversal procedures but you need to go into this knowing that this is not a temporary fix to avoid pregnancy. Consider this permanent. Have the discussion with the doctor and your partner. Make sure you (and he) are honestly fine with not having anymore offspring from him.
Scheduling.
I was SHOCKED to learn that the doctor we used only did vasectomies on Fridays. WHY? So that they men didn't have to miss much work and were ready to head back to 'normal' on Monday.
Do they offer medication before and during a vasectomy?
Check with your doctor but my husband was prescribed a dose of valium to be taken one hour ahead of the procedure. Because of this I drove my husband to the procedure. Driving and taking valium is not recommended! When I asked why valium I was told 'to take the edge off and makes everything relax'.
What?! It is a medical procedure that you are numb!
Do you need to shave before a vasectomy?
Yes. We need to talk about it. Men, if you don't manscape your scrotum, now is the time to learn. Fresh razor, shaving cream, make it bald. One of the last things you will want is an ingrown hair or infection due to not being clean shaven. You can always grow it back. The hair, not the vas deferens.
Don't be they guy who goes into the procedure room and 'forgot'. You didn't forget. You didn't do it. Don't be the guy who has to have his balls shaved by someone else. Don't be that guy. You are not that guy.
What about the vasectomy procedure?
Ladies, this is probably something he is not going to want you to attend with him.
I offered. I wanted to be there for my husband as he was there for me as I pushed all 3 of his offspring out of my cervix. I wanted to hold his hand as he held mine. Tell him he was doing fine and to keep breathing. Ask him if he wanted ice chips because that was all he was allowed.
Let him know that the first side was done and the second side was going to be over in just a minute.
Basically I wanted to witness that the Doctor was doing his job.
But no. He had valium and that was all the courage he needed.
What they won't tell you about a vasectomy.
I was not there but I am able to share with you a few highlights.
- Lots of medical draping around the 'area'.
- Iodine. Iodine over all the parts.
- Two medical professionals get very personal with your man parts. hmmm. Ladies, annual exam flashbacks?
- The smell of cauterization.
- The Dr. pinches the scrotum. Hard.
- Extra medication might be needed for righty when lefty gets snipped first. Apparently they talk.
- The incision is small. Like ¼ inch. Ladies, how big is that c-section scar?
What it is like in the vasectomy procedure waiting room
I have now experienced what it is like for men to be in the waiting room of an OBGYN. AWKWARD. Everyone is there for one reason. It is Friday. Only one thing happens in this office on a Friday and we all know it.
No one makes eye contact. No one discusses how many children we have.
Everyone looks up when the door swings open and a man walks through like he has been on horseback for a week.
How long does it really take to recover from a vasectomy?
As with anything in life healing will vary from man to man. Some men are back to normal within 12 hours while others take days to heal.
Once again there will be a prescription for strong medication given. Once you get home, get Mister on the couch or in bed with ice packs and Netflix or Sports Center. Go get the script filled. My thoughts are 'better safe than sorry' when it comes to pain management. Some men need extra strength tylenol while others want to take all the medications the Dr. will give them.
Healing aka. Man Baby
If you have a Man Baby now is the time he will make his presence known. You know who you are, be prepared. I am happy to share that I do not have a Man Baby and the healing process was much smoother in our house than I had expected.
If you have a Man Baby you know the drill. Be sure to have the appropriate snacks, drinks (do not mix alcohol and medication) blankets, fans, heaters, pajamas or whatever your man needs when he is not feeling well.
I was prepared for the worst but hoped for the best. My husband took a nap, rotated cold packs and fielded work emails the first afternoon of his recovery. Easy peasy. I was thankful.
Should he use ice or frozen vegetables after a vasectomy?
I am not sure if your doctor will tell you this or if it was just his doctor but we were told that the frozen vegetables, such as peas, do not keep cold enough long enough. He was told to use the frozen gel packs to keep the swelling down.
What type of under ware should he wear after a vasectomy?
After a vasectomy a man is going to have to be aware of type under ware he will be wearing. Should he wear tighty whities? Nope. Bikinis. Get your man the tightest, most restricting underwear you can find. Make him wear them and he will thank you. I don't care if he is normally a boxers or commando guy. After he has his scrotum cut open (in 2 spots!) and the vas deferen has been snipped and cauterized. His sack needs to be supported and not allowed to move. Any hanging or pulling on the incision will cause pain. Keep it tight, fellas.
Vasectomy Follow Up
The stitches are dissolvable stitches. Over the next few days to a week, the stitches will start to dissolve and when they start to dissolve, he can basically tug the stitches out. This is probably best done in the shower. Warm water and all that.
Checking for success and a sticker chart
Check with you doctor but he will have to go back to make sure he is shooting blanks.THIS STEP IS NOT TO BE MISSED! Yes, he went through the procedure and yes, you may have witnessed the Doctor's handywork but I assure you there are kids walking around today because their parents didn't check for success.
After about 20 ejaculations your husband will have to provide a liquid sample back to the doctor in the sterile cup that is provided at the follow up appointment. I recommend a sticker chart, paper ring chain or notes in your smart phone calendar to keep track of these events. Yes, I said sticker chart. You can guess but you need to be sure that all the pipes are disconnected and clear.
Without going into much detail this sample will have to be provided without the aid of lubricants. Also chances are you will have to make an appointment to drop off the sample. So in addition to the lack of lubricants he is is now under the pressure to perform under a time restraint. So there is that.
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